Thursday, 6 December 2012

Top 3 Illogical Celebrity Fashion and Beauty Lines of 2012

Cher Lloyd's First Fragrance
There's nothing like a celebrity scent. Who knew singers had such great olfactory skills?
[Image via Digital Spy].

Without further ado, it's time for a little 2012 review of those strange but true celebrity product launches that sometimes make you wonder if you're just having a strange dream. 2011 was the year of Myleene Klass' nail wraps, but this year these famous names excelled themselves when it came to hidden talents. 

1. Cher Lloyd's perfume - If there's one person I hope to smell like, it must surely be Cher Lloyd. Her intoxicating blend of top notes including whining, pouting and being difficult in interviews, mixed with base notes of chav and reality TV, made for a memorable combination that was bound to be a success. Apparently One Direction will be the next out of the starting blocks to conquer the market, though no word as yet whether the most prominent top note will be Harry Styles' little black book of older women or Zayn's fags. Let's just hope none of the boys watch the film Perfume and take inspiration from Ben Whishaw's dedication to the cause of a perfumier, or the Twittersphere would truly implode with underage girls offering themselves up for sacrifice.

Robbie wished his mates would be a bit more talkative sometimes.
[Image via the Daily Mirror].

2. Robbie Williams' clothing line inspired by his granddad - Those of you with a spare £500 will be pleased to know that you needn't let it burn a hole in your pocket any more. You can exchange it for a Pilot's Leather Jacket, or perhaps dip into it for a cable knit cardigan which will set you back a paltry £135 from the Farrell brand. Ok, so kudos to Robbie Williams for using quality materials in his clothing, such as lambswool, but not many a fan of Rudebox and Candy will have the disposable income to match his price points. Meanwhile, those of you who regularly drop half a grand on a jacket will probably not see Williams as a style icon. 

Made in Chelsea Star Launches Fashion Line
It Starts With An Idea (ISWAI) clearly wanted its models to be totally unique. 
These three slightly horsey looking blondes tell me that Caggie is the one on the right.
[Image via MTV].

 3. Caggie from MIC's fashion brand - Posh reality TV star Caggie Dunlop (you know, the one who hangs about with people called Binky and Hugo), is all about keeping it real, apparently. That's why she has launched a fashion line that's all about being unpretentious and involves working with upcoming designers (plebs, yah), and - according to MTV - deals with 'themes close to Caggie’s heart: New York, Rebellion, Religion, Da Vinci and The Universe'. That's right, guys, she just can't stop thinking about Leonardo Da Vinci's anatomical studies and black holes and Brian Cox, in between filming that deep thinking existential show, Made in Chelsea. If only the producers would let her have more screen time to discuss her thoughts on Stephen Hawking or perhaps to incite a current affairs debate on the issue of women bishops. Oh, and if you'd like to buy a less cerebral piece from the ISWAI collection then there's a bright pink 'Keep Calm and Caggie On' t-shirt for just £22.

I really do despair for humanity sometimes. Here's to 2013, when we should brace ourselves for yet another onslaught of stylish celebs astounding us with their entrepreneurial nous.


  1. I found this so entertaining! I love that you pointed out horsey reseblance that most posh people seem to have!

    Rose x

    1. Thank you, Rose! Glad to know I'm not the only one who notices the horse resemblance... x


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