Miss Marple Remake: Ideas for the wardrobe department?

[Image credits: Guardian Newspapers Online].

One of the most surprising news stories in the last few days has been the announcement that the English super-sleuth Miss Marple is to become the star of a Hollywood film, where she will be played by Jennifer Garner. The casting of Garner is somewhat removed from previous incarnations of Miss Marple, two of which are seen above, as portrayed by Joan Hickson and Geraldine McEwan. Part of the appeal for many fans of the books and television series is that a lady whose life should be confined to cream teas and early nights is consistently able to outwit murderers and policemen with her amateur detective skills. It works on the principle that nobody expects Marple to have the mental faculties or opportunity to be able to solve a case, but she does so with annoying regularity, much to the chagrin of the criminal minds featured. But what happens when you replace this 'wolf in sheep's clothing' with an actress who is clearly not going to look inconspicuous in comfy shoes and a twinset? It does seem like a very bizarre twist on a tried and tested formula which has managed to captivate a large audience without any problems.

So, how will the wardrobe department manage to dress Jennifer Garner for this flashy new adaptation, without alienating her male fans? I have a few Hollywood-esque ideas below.

• A tweed bikini. Perfect for doing some sunbathing in the garden between crime scene visits.
• Marple's sensible brimmed hat to be replaced with a Von Dutch trucker cap when she needs to go into the ghetto without standing out like a sore thumb.
  
• Her teacup should become a permanent accessory rather than a mere drinking vessel, a la Lady Gaga. A diva tantrum will occur if the cup is lost or broken.
  
• The sensible cream blouse should be replaced by a sheer pussy-bow number, accompanied by a visible lace bra.
  
• Miss Marple will discover a penchant for designer handbags, particularly by Chloe, because her new life lesson is never to underestimate the potential of the it-bag.
• Her new sidekick being Snooki from the Jersey Shore, she will realise the appeal of fake tan and a micro-mini skirt for a heavy night on the tiles in celebration of solving a mystery.
• A sensible heavy blazer will be replaced by a black jacket (sleeves rolled up) with matching city shorts, for that chic look. Her fashion muse will be Alexa Chung.